Soup-er Bean Soup

Ingredients:

• 1 pound bag of pinto beans
• ½ pound smoked bacon (chopped)
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 large onion chopped (or ½ cup chopped) [Note 1]
• 3 cloves garlic minced
• 1/2 cup chopped green pepper [Note 1]
• 3 tablespoons salt (kosher salt is best)
• 1 teaspoon black pepper (freshly ground for best flavor)
• 1 liter chicken broth or stock (homemade is best but store bought will do)
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 bay leaf

Directions

Start to soak your beans at least 24 hours before you would like to plate. Before you do, however, you need to spread your beans out on a cookie sheet or half sheet pan. Remove all of the rocks that slipped through the sorting process. Also take out all of the beans that look ugly or bad. Cooking will not help their flavor! Place the beans into a container that is at least three quarts deep. Now add the salt and the beans. Add about 2 quarts of water.

Soak for 12 hours, covered.

In a medium skillet over medium heat add the chopped bacon and the Worcestershire sauce. Cook the bacon until some of the fat is rendered out. Now add the onion, green peppers, pepper, chili powder. Cook until bacon is slightly crispy and the aromatics are slightly brown. Using a paper towel, soak up all but about 2 tablespoons of the fat. Transfer all of it to your Crockpot, turned onto high. Deglaze, if needed, with some of the chicken broth or stock.

Drain your beans (reserving the liquid) and add them to your Crockpot. Now add the deglazed liquid and the rest of the chicken broth. Top off with your reserved bean liquid (which still holds significant bean flavor and vitamins). Now stir in the dried oregano and the bay leaf. Set your timer for 4 hours and cover.

At the end of 4 hours, set your slow cooker or Crockpot to the low setting and simmer for AT LEAST two more hours. However another four to eight hours would be MUCH better. Just be sure to top off the Crockpot with water to replace any liquid loss.

Finally, Remove the bay leaf and then add salt and pepper to taste about an hour before serving.

[Note 1: Individually flash frozen, chopped green pepper and onion are both economical and a great time saver. They make adding both aromatics a simple procedure that does not involve tears or breaking out the cutting board. They’re normally found in the frozen section of the local mega-mart.]

Blueberry Bomb Pie

Ingredients:

• 1 box prepared pie dough (or homemade, if you have the time)
• 2 pears (peeled, cored, and then sliced thin) [Note 1]
• 3 tablespoons vinegar (balsamic is best, but apple cider works as well)
• 4 tablespoons sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 pinch nutmeg
• 2 tablespoons butter (unsalted or “sweet butter”)
• 1 cup blueberries (frozen or fresh)
• 1 teaspoon flour (all purpose)
• 1 1/2 cups yellow cake cut into cubes [Note 2]
• 1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water (AKA “egg wash”)
• 1/2 teaspoon sugar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400°

Give a medium skillet a spritz of PAM (or another non stick cooking spray) and then heat the skillet over medium heat. Add pears to the pan and toss for 2 minutes. Add the vinegar and continue to cook for about 30 seconds. Sprinkle on the 4 tablespoons sugar and cook until the pears have softened. Add the nutmeg, cinnamon, and the butter and melt slowly. Fold in the blueberries. Remove from heat. Sprinkle on the flour and combine well. Allow to cool to room temperature.

Place dough on a non greased disposable pie pan. Place cubed pound cake in the middle of the dough. Spoon filling over the cake cubes and top the filling with ¼ stick of butter (cubed). Cut top dough into ½ inch lattice and place. Brush the lattice with the egg wash and sprinkle with ½ teaspoon sugar.

Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until the filling begins to bubble and the crust is golden brown and delicious!

Cool for AT LEAST a half hour before serving!

[Note 1: About 1 cup of thinly sliced bananas are also a suitable substitute. Be creative!]

[Note 2: Pound cake also works AMAZINGLY well for this. You could also use Twinkies with the filling removed. Once again, be creative!]

Pope Rope Taffy

Things needed:

• large (very clean) 2+ quart saucepan with a fitted lid
• wooden spoon
• candy thermometer
• waxed paper or plastic wrap
• two lengths parchment paper in cookie sheets
• vinyl or rubber gloves (without cornstarch!)
• greased scissors or butter knife

Ingredients:

• 2 cups sugar
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 cup light corn syrup
• 3/4 cup water
• 2 tablespoons butter (cubed at room temperature)
• 1 teaspoon salt (kosher or course salt is best)
• 1 teaspoon flavoring (Vanilla, peppermint, lemon, or my favorite root beer)
• 3 drops food coloring (optional)

Direction:

1. Whisk together the sugar, cornstarch, and salt in the saucepan.
2. Add the corn syrup, water, and butter to the sauce pan
3. Add the candy thermometer to the pan!
4. Heat on medium heat until whisking until boiling.
5. Once the mixture starts boiling add the lid for thirty second to a minute
6. DO NOT touch, stir, jostle, agitate, mix, or move the mixture until it reaches the “soft crack” stage at 270°f – 290°f
7. Remove the pan from the fire and mix in the extracts, flavorings and/or food coloring.
8. Pour the mixture into one of the cookie sheets lined with parchment paper (making sure to not get any on you or the cookie sheet!) WARNING: This stuff is called “Culinary Napalm” for a reason. It will stick to you and then continue to burn you for several minutes. It’s a nasty thing that could send you to the ER.
9. When the taffy is cool enough to handle, put on your gloves and grease them with butter, oil, or non-stick cooking spray.
10. Start out by needing the taffy like a bread dough. Then pick it up and then pull and twist the taffy until it’s lighter in color and it’s color has developed a “sheen”. This step should take 10-15 (or until your arms feel like they are about to fall off!)
11. Using your play dough skills, roll the taffy into a a rope. (think “tootsy roll”)
12. Cut the taffy with scissors into 1 inch pieces and place them on the other sheet pan lined with parchment paper
13. wait a half an hour
14. Wrap and roll the taffy into the wax paper / plastic wrap

The Science:

• Q. Why do I add corn syrup?
• A. It contains long chains of glucose molecules that tend to keep the sucrose molecules in the taffy syrup from crystallizing. In other words, sugar is 99% pure. If we do not add an impurity, in the form of the corn syrup, it will crystallize and have a grainy texture.

• Q. Why do I need to stop stirring after the syrup begins to boil?
• A. Disturbing the mixture at this point will encourage the sugar to form crystals. Both making the mixture set up and making the final product VERY grainy.

• Q. What if I don’t have a candy thermometer?
• A. As the syrup reaches soft crack stage, the bubbles on top will become smaller, thicker, and closer together. Drop a bit of the liquid into cold water.  Drain away the water and test to see if the candy is flexible and not brittle. If it is then it is in the “soft crack” stage.

This is what the "soft crack" stage may look like.

Southern Style “Perfect” Sweet Tea

I was told the secret ingredient in this recipe from an old woman who was on her deathbed. She was the grandmother of a friend of mine who was known for her sweet tea locally. She refused to tell me what her secret was for years. That was, however, until she was about to die. The sad part is that while she told me the secret ingredient, she never told me the amount. So after much tinkering, I managed to get it “perfect”. So I present to you, the “perfect” recipe for sweet tea.

 

Ingredients:

• ½ gallon of filtered water at 150°
• ½ gallon water at “room temperature”
• 2 cups of sugar
• 6 “family size” tea bags of Luzianne or Lipton (or equivalent)
• 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda

 

Directions:

Seep the tea bags in the 150° water for about 5 minutes or until the liquid is dark. Doing this in a larger container will allow the tea bags to “bloom” more efficiently and extract more flavor from the bags.

Now, using a funnel, place the sugar into the 1 gallon jug. Add the baking soda. Now add the seeped tea liquid to the jug and shake/stir like your life depended on it. Once some of the bubbles die down, fill the rest of the container with the room temperature water.

Place in the refrigerator until cool and serve over ice, if so desired.

 

The science:

Q. Why is baking soda the secret ingredient?

A. Baking soda raises the PH level and cuts back on the bitterness of the tea. It also adds a slight amount of saltness which makes food taste more like itself by interacting with the taste buds on a microscopic scale. Leave this out and the tea would no longer be “perfect”.

 

Q. Why use “room temperature” water instead of cold water?

A. If the hot tea where “shocked” by cold water then some of the particles that are in suspension by the warm water would be forced out of suspension. This would cause the tea to be both cloudy and have particulate matter on the bottom of the tea. So the last glass would be peppered with unsuspended tea particles.

 

Homemade Root Beer

Have you ever wondered why root beer has the word BEER in it? It’s because “back in the day” the popular soda was made from the sassafras root, sweetened with molasses or table sugar, and then fermented in the exact manner that beer is created. The fermentation process, unlike beer, is stopped before a significant amount of alcohol can develop. (0.35%) So this recipe is safe and fun project for the kids.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of table sugar
• 1 tablespoon of root beer extract (in the baking isle of Walmart near the other extracts)
• ¼ teaspoon of bakers yeast [Note 1]
• 1 2-liter soda bottle
• 2 liters of 90°F water

Directions:

To start, using a funnel, add the table sugar. Next add the bakers yeast. On top of that add the root bear extract. Now, very slowly add the water until it fills half of the bottle. Add the top and shake it as hard as you can. Since yeast like a lot of air, this will speed up the fermentation. Now add the remaining water until the bottle is filled 1 inch from the top. Shake like mad again.

Now it’s time to wait. Place the bottle in room that is 70°-90°. The closer to 90° the faster the less time fermentation will take. Either way the fermentation will start within 12 hours. If it has not, you have dead yeast. Get new yeast, add ¼ a teaspoon, shake, wait some more.

Once the bottle is firm when you try to squeeze it is time to remove it from the warm air. Not doing so will result in a less sweet root beer with a higher alcohol content. It will also result in the bottle exploding if left for more than two days. So place the root beer in the refrigerator for at least 24 hours. As with all fermented beverages, there will be yeast settlement. Do not drink this. So pour with care as to not get any into your glass.

This is a great classic drink that you can make at home. Enjoy!

[Note 1: You can user brewers or wine yeast instead of bakers yeast. While it adds less yeast flavor it also adds up to 3x as much alcohol (about 1% in the final product). So experiment and find what you like best.]

My Recipe for Chaos

Cooking has its origins in Chaos. It likely started when a bolt of lightning from the gods hit a mammoth. Our ancestors, sampling that gift from the gods, found its charred carcass both easier to eat and digest. Then after mastering fire for warmth and light they likely looked back on that mammoth dinner and considered the possibilities. So through trial, error, and the application of A LOT of time we developed cooking into the art and science that it is today.

The way I approach cooking comes two fold. From cooking with seemingly random ingredient combinations to going off the beaten path. Some places that a lot of classically trained cooks would NEVER go because of pride or tradition has dictated otherwise. I feel those two reasons are what makes some recipes stagnant. We need to take advantage of the introduction of the mega-mart and the unification of the world through the internet. With that we are able to eat a large variety foods than even our grandparents could not have imagined!

I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey. This journey is one of discovery! Discovery of yourself. Discovery of your desires. Discovery of foreign lands. Discover of foreign peoples. After all, what better way is there to know a people than from the way they eat?

So set your coordinates for parts unknown. Both on the map and within your soul. Because cooking is not just adding heat to plants and animals. Cooking is experiencing the very essence of what it is to be human!